I know..
I know..
I’m not in a position to have any right to say this..
I know..
I know..
After all that I did..
After everything that happened..
I know..
I don’t deserve any of this..
any of this convenience that I have now..
anything from this kind of happy living..
I know..
but still..
It’s hurting so much seeing you are hurting there..
I’m aching so much hearing you are crying inside..
and I’m just breaking so much knowing I could do nothing..
My heart sank..
I blamed my self..
what kind of a useless daughter I’ve become..
And now I’m aching so much here..
alone..
can’t stop thinking about you..
how are you doing..
are you eating like you used to eat..
are you still snoring while you’re sleeping..
just like I used to hear..
will you still be so loud and cheap when I get home this year??
will you??
your nostrils..
your mustaches..
your out-of-tone singing..
your bickering..
Oh my.. oh my..
now I remember everything about you..
and I’m hurting so much here..
how hard your life must have been..
how rocky the road you are now walking on..
how much pain are you enduring..
how much worries are you bearing..
and how I must have become such a burden to you..
But now..
you know what?
I promise you..
I promise my self..
I promise the world..
I’ll try my best..
I’ll give my best..
I won’t disappoint you any more..
I won’t be any more worry for you..
I’ll stand still and strong on my own..
I’ll face the world with my chain upward..
I’ll be one of your biggest happiness..
I’ll be one of your biggest smile..
I’ll be one of your biggest treasure..
so please..
please..
just be happy..
just be healthy..
eat loudly..
and sleep snoringly..
Heidelberg, April 20th 2010
your daughter,
Jesica
